Mother of Many

Isaiah 54: 1 "Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the LORD.”

I love this verse because it reminds me of a defining moment in my life. About three years ago Pastor Dan was preaching a series on this portion of scripture. I was holding on to a promise that had been given to me multiple times, that I would be “a mother of many.” Isaiah was already four so it might not make sense that I would identify with a verse about a barren woman.
Barren means not able to reproduce. This is not just a physical reproduction but a spiritual one as well. I was in a heart healing process. Trusting others has never been a strong attribute of mine. However, to affectively encourage others you have to be vulnerable. (I just messed up a bunch of people with that one.) I wanted to get back in the game so to speak in ministry but was scared to death of getting hurt. This verse was a reminder in the physical that God can be trusted in all things and He would restore joy and let a new song come out of me.

Isaiah, my first born, was a miracle. I have (had) a condition that causes infertility and can develop into cancer. I prayed, like Hannah, (I Samuel 1) for a son, and God in His mercy blessed us. Isaiah almost died at birth, but again God proved Himself and we brought him home healthy in 5 days. Five years later, this sermon was preached and I prayed Lord, if you don’t mind let me give birth one more time. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful for Zai, but I longed for one more. Little did I know God had it all in motion. Leia was already in my womb.

At that time in my life I need some physical, solid, touchable, signs from God and He has been faithful to meet me at my need. Today, I have two birth children and many spiritual children. I love them all the same and they know it. I love being a mom to those who need it and I can lift my head proudly and say, I produce greatness and they will take this world for Jesus.

Say It Loud

Isaiah 50:4 “The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.”

Isaiah was the spoke men of God in his area. The people had turned away from God and He used Isaiah to communicate with them.

Today, I had the awesome privilege to speak before 59 high school graduates entering a 5 week academic program that is to prepare them for college here at Cal State University East Bay. I am not an academic counselor and normally would not be given this opportunity, but God opens doors that no man can shut. I changed what I was going to teach on for a week. See this is a University not a church and there are rules and limitations to what I can say and do. I struggled because I can only teach what I know and what they need to here. So, I preached God's word.

I walked through the room praying over ever chairs when I read this verse and knew what I had to do. God has put words in my mouth that encourage those who have no hope or direction and I cannot keep it to myself. This word is not just for this group of students, it’s to everyone I come in contact with. I love to hear Him whisper His secrets to me and teach me new things. Now it’s time to give it away.

Lord, You are so wonderful to me. All I have ever wanted was to share You with the world. Let me not be silent when You have put words in my mouth and help me to know the difference. Amen

Carry Me

Psalm 73: 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

The psalmist was going through some stuff when he wrote this. He struggled with the injustice that he witnessed. He began to feel overwhelmed and wanted to give up until He sought the Lord. In God’s presence he understood what a privilege he had living for God. In the end, the ungodly have consequences that would ruin them, while he would see the glory of God.

Today as I reflect on my childhood and my families past, I am sad. There has been much abuse and pain that we have endured. But God has always been my strength. I can clearly look back and see the hand of God protecting me, surrounding me, warning me to pray for others through visions and dreams. Often as a youngster I wondered why I was born. Today, I know my purpose and birth was not in vain, but a wonderful masterpiece. We don’t always have the answers to the whys of life, but God sees the end result and it is always better for us.

My pain is now my victory and a weapon of healing. A knife in the hands of a murderer is destruction, but in the hands of a doctor…healing, relief, a new start. I have allowed God to do surgery on the wounds and infections Satan has poured on my life. Yes, I have a few scars but they are only reminders of battles won. It didn’t happen overnight, but it happen when I surrendered my thinking and my plans for His.

Lord, thank you for never leaving me even when I felt all alone. You are my everything and I am complete because of You. You make my heart light and happy and I know that I have a future in You. Amen.